sayang, both lovely and devastating

The word sayang occupies a profoundly significant place in my heart, no other word could bring the same warm feeling in me, not even rindu, suka, or even cinta. Something about sayang felt much softer than the rest of its synonyms, it rolls easier on your tongue whether you are calling someone sayang or when you are expressing your endearment towards someone, sayang tops it off.

In the movie scene Lady Bird, she argues with her mom that she might love her but not like her. While I do agree that like and love convey totally different meaning, sayang on the other hand is somewhat superior compare than the two. If I were Lady Bird, I would ask my mother or anyone that I ever encounter in my life, "You might like and love me but do you sayang me?".

Taking inspiration from Jho Tan, the word sayang refers to a sense of affection and acceptance, it is all about warmth, care and softness. Sayang is an unconditional feelings towards someone. "Aku sayang kau" translates to "I care about you deeply" and not "I love you". While many perceive love as the pinnacle of affection, there's a prevailing sentiment that caring for someone holds greater significance. Unlike love or cinta, which can sometimes feel possessive, sayang embodies unconditional and genuine sentiments.

I bask in the warmth of sayang whenever Papa would bring me food into my room during those late-night study sessions, or when he would always pick up my call with "Princess Anak Papa". I found sayang whenever my friends would take the time out of their day to read my writings and even tune into my podcast. How enchanting it is to be enveloped in their thoughtful gestures, to feel the warmth of their devotion without the need for words. Or to feel the embrace of sayang in the shape of being sent dumb silly TikTok videos with a message attached "this reminds me of you". How wonderful it is be to cared about by others, the kind unconditional love you can only get from those who sincerely care about you.

But, sayang is also about a sense disappointment. Whenever people use the word sayang to convey meaning other than care, it is usually to express regret, often in relation to something that has been lost or missed out on. Lin suggests that the versatility of the term sayang encompassing both affection and remorse, illuminates the intricate nature of human feelings. In her view, our profound attachment to someone or something often coincides with a fear of loss or longing. This fear can lead to feelings of regret or disappointment if things don't go as we hoped. Sayang embodies both enduring love and the ache of lost affection. 

The word sayang serves more than just a verbal expression; it becomes a vessel for the intangible essence of love, care, and empathy. It carries with it the echoes of moments shared, dreams envisioned, and emotions felt deeply. Even when the initial passion of love fades or circumstances change, sayang endures as a poignant reminder of what once was and what could have been.

In using sayang whether to convey affection or express regret, we acknowledge the enduring presence of emotions that have touched our lives. It embodies a sense of nostalgia for what was cherished and a recognition of the complexities of human relationships. Through its subtle nuances and layers of meaning, sayang becomes a testament to the resilience of the human heart, holding onto sentiments that shape our experiences long after they've passed.

In essence, sayang transcends its linguistic boundaries to become a symbol of the eternal dance between love and loss, reminding us that some feelings never truly fade away—they linger, softly whispering their presence in the corners of our hearts, forever intertwined with the tapestry of our lives.

"whether if its “aku sayang kamu” or “sayang ya…”, the presence and passage of love remain unchanged"

- Nona, 2024